How open and honest?

I have been think very hard about this blog and while I am determined to be open and honest, I have had to ask myself the question "How open and honest should I be?" You see the problem for me is two fold; firstly, some of the things in my life and head, both of my own doing/creation and of others, may well hurt other people emotionally that I don't want to hurt in any way; secondly, there are things n my life, some past and some present, that I don't think including on this blog would be of any real necessity. Does that mean that by not including those things I am not being open and honest enough? Should I not self censor and hope, or not care, that what I write does no harm? These things have been eating away at me ever since I first had the idea of doing a more personal blog. I have, I think, come to a decision and I don't think that by leave out things that I know, not just feel, to be unnecessary to include I will be being dishonest or not open enough, maybe it could be argued that I am but I need to be able to do this for me not anyone else. The other point is a little harder to work out but I honestly feel that my openness and honesty should not be at the expense of the feelings of innocent people, I do not feel that collateral damage is ok, so I will not be including details of things that will hurt others (unless, of course, they are people I feel that I want to or deserve to be hurt). So having said that and straightened it out in my mind, maybe it's time to actually get on with the blogging :-)


I have been hugely connected to music throughout my entire life. When I was young I seemed to be constantly surrounded by it and the many different styles of music I heard definitely had a major influence on my own musical tastes. I am the youngest of five children, four boys and one girl, and all of my brothers and my sister listened to different types of music, related but different. My eldest brother was really into Rock 'n' Roll and also liked Reggae and 60's pop, and in later years also listened to light classical music and was a fan of Billy Joel, he was also very into comedy and comedy songs (as were we all). My next eldest brother was into Rock, Heavy Rock, Prog Rock and early Heavy Metal, as well as Jazz, Rock 'n' Roll and the comedy stuff, and later got really into Status Quo. My other brother was also into Rock and comedy stuff, and was a David Bowie fan, and got really into Meatloaf (especially the Bat Out Of Hell album), later he became a huge Z Z Top fan. My sister was also into Rock 'n' Roll, and especially Cliff Richards, and light classical music. My Dad was a massive Jazz fan and my Mum was into Jazz, a bit, musical films and light classical music. Added to these influences were odd tracks that people liked, the fact that my Mum and Dad listened to Radio2 most mornings while I was getting ready for school so I heard a lot of 60's stuff (quite often Motown and late 60's British pop), and of course Top Of The Pops which I, like thousands of others, watched every week. Then there were the direct input of influences from friends, through whom I was introduced to Rockabilly, Heavy Metal and Disco.

I suppose the first music I followed with great passion was Rock 'n' Roll, I was a Teddy Boy with full quiff, drape jacket, bootlaces tie, straight trousers and brothel creepers (or winkle picker boots sometimes). I used to go to a place in Harrow to get my hair done almost every week, while I was there I would pop into Jack Geetch's (not sure that's the right spelling) clothing store, which was where I got my made to measure drape. Also a record shop, which was in the back room of a fruit and veg shop. I would go out to The Royalty club in New Southgate every week. Had a good time there and made some friends. I often miss that free and easy life that I had then, no real money worries and out more than I was in. But you can't live in the past and so we all move on and loose that, and life becomes a matter of dealing (or not) with emotions and loss. I didn't intent this to be just an out pouring of facts about my youth but things just seem to have run away with me. Maybe I will go on with this potted history of my musical rubbish but not right now, the muse has left me if you will and so this post draws to an end. Hopefully it isn't too long and boring and self indulgent :-)

Maybe next time I post something, I'll brighten it up with a picture or two. Maybe, if I can figure it all out, I might put some pictures on my blog somewhere to brighten the whole thing up. We'll see!

Hello, good evening and welcome

I have tried this before and didn't get into it, but I have decided that now blogging is basically out of fashion I will start a new blog about me and what I do. This is mainly for me, as an outlet for my daily rubbish and stuff but who knows, maybe someone else will get something from it or something.

So let me start with a little intro about me. My name is Andy and I am 52 years old, 53 this year. I am a recovering alcoholic, 11 years sober, with a heart condition that requires triple bypass surgery that cannot be done until I have lost a shed load of weight. At the moment there is more chance of me not coming out of the surgery alive than there is of me having another heart attack (I had one about 10 years ago), so they won't do the surgery yet. I have been doing Weight Watchers for the last 4 years and have lost just over 6 stone, I did manage to loose over 100lb but then put some weight back on over Christmas so I trying to get back to that level. I have one failed marriage behind me, from which I have 2 children and 6 grandchildren. I am currently married with 1 child. I have suffered from depression for many years and am currently taking antidepressants on a daily basis, along with 4 different tablets for my heart condition. I suffer from sleep apnea (not sure that's spelt right) and have to hook myself up to a machine every night when I sleep. I also have a perforated ear drum in my left ear which means my hearing in that ear is dulled and I have a continual hissing sound in my ear. I have been involved in music in one way or another for a lot of my adult life, either as a roadie or singer or musician or manager, and am currently doing a short course on music production and recording using a Mac computer and professional software, which is really good. I have had a variety of jobs, almost all of which I have hated in one way or another and am currently out of work on sick benefits.

Well that's pretty much a short and basic introduction to me and my situation, of course there is more to it, which I am planning to go through as I go on with this blog.

So that's all for this post, hope to be back with more soon.