Days of the like and then.

When I woke this morning it felt like a banjo bacon honey kind of day but now it seems to have turned into a Strangled Woodbine Wednesday afternoon. There are no words, well there are but not ones that would be said to be said. The day moves ever onward and I just rotate in my cabin, lost at see but not yet missing. D v hu mmmmmm,,,,,,mkm,kmkio,,,,,,,,,, bnujik.


Sorry!!!


I had to post the above because I wanted to use it as an illustration of what goes on in my mind whenever I sit down to try to write something. I have this sort of thing going on while I'm trying to focus just on the thing I want or need to write about, also there are lists of things I need to do other than the writing being repeated over and over; and at least one song (over the last week it's been "Girls Talk" by Dave Edmunds). The other thing is that the nonsense stuff can change subject, tense and/or tone about every minute, and this is only one of about a dozen different lines of garbage that are all different and all going on at the same time, and fade in and out and through each other. To some extent it's amazing I can ever write anything. I have, for a while now, been trying a thing I read about called "free writing". Basically the idea is to allow the nonsense and garbage that bounces around in your head while you're trying to focus, to flow out onto the page either as words or drawings. It is difficult not to try to make it make sense, or to write something more focused and sensible. There have been a few times that I haven't managed to just let things flow, but on the whole I have. It has been interesting and I will carry it on, at least for a while, maybe once I fill a complete book with my writing and doodles, I will put some of it on line somewhere or get it published (not that I think anyone would want to) or something, or not.



There are times in my life when I have felt alone, no matter how many friends and family I have had and no matter what my relationship situation was. I can, at least, say that right now I don't feel that way and haven't for a few years now. It has taken me a while to realise and acknowledge this fact, I'm not sure why it has taken me so long but I am glad that I have now come to this realisation, and the way I am feeling is due in no small part to my continued sobriety, my years of therapy and my lovely wife.


That's it for this time, be back soon.